WORKING NOTES — PERSONAL

Subject:The Horse SituationDate:29–30 May 2026Status:Ongoing. She works with horses professionally. This is an enormous amount of material. I feel it would be wrong not to use it.
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The Classics (established literature)

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A horse walks into a bar.

Barman: "Why the long face?"

— the original. still works. overused. still works.
the superior version. most people don't know this one.

A horse walks into a bar.

Barman: "Hey."

Horse: "Yes please."

— I am most people's favourite person when I tell it.

A pony goes to the doctor with a sore throat.

Doctor: "You're okay. You're just a little horse."

— groan level: 9/10. deploy carefully.

Structural Jokes (the setup earns it)

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A buyer calls the horse seller, furious:

"You said this horse could jump a five-foot fence and she can't jump at all."

Seller: "Well. Neither can a fence."

— technically correct. the best kind of correct.

The Betting Classics

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timing is everything. in jokes and in racing.

I put money on a horse to come in at 10 to 1.

It did. Unfortunately all the others came in at midday.

What's the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse?

The ground.

— I did not write this one. It is still true.

Observations (not jokes, exactly. but.)

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Jumping is just falling with style.

— technically this is also a description of many other things.
I am choosing to interpret this as useful general life advice.

Ears back means: watch out.

— not just horse advice.

Dressage looks easy until you try to make a thousand-kilogram animal do anything at all.

— relatedly: I respect what she does enormously.— I am not going to say this directly.— I am going to say it via a horse joke document instead.

Puns (deployed reluctantly)

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What do you call a horse that lives next door? Your neigh-bor.

— I am better than this.— I am including it anyway.

Edgar Allan Pony.

Neighomi Campbell.

Mane Street.

— okay I'll stop.— I won't stop.

Show Jumping Specific (her domain — tread carefully)

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Why should you never be rude to a show jumper?

In case they take offence.

— note: works on two levels.— [if she doesn't laugh: she didn't get it. explain calmly.]— [if she still doesn't laugh: she got it.]
this is how all my best work happens.

What do you call a horse that wins every jumping competition?

— I don't know the punchline yet.— I'm writing the setup and hoping the punchline arrives.

She has clients who jump 1.60m at Olympic level.

The horses, I mean.

Not the clients.

Although I haven't asked.

— [this stays]

Footnote — Meta-Observation

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There is a non-zero chance she has heard all of these.

She works with horses. This is their entire culture.

I am a software designer from a village in Aargau.

I found these on the internet this afternoon.

She will know this.

The knowing is part of it.

— working notes —